Cover Snark: Pecs on Pecs on Pecs


It’s Cover Snark time and upon reflection, there is clearly a theme.

From Pam G:
I’m killin’ in the flame, just killin’ in the flame,
What a glo-o-o-orious feeling, I’m gassy again
My farts are azure, so blue down below
My sword isn’t stuck, and I’m ready to glow

And can I just mention the inspired fashion statement of attending a paintball tournament in your grandma’s boiled wool jacket and Uncle Willie’s clip-on tie. Must be Lederhosen down below to

Sarah: That looks like the jacket a door attendant at a very swank hotel would be issued for winter. Like he’s working at the Plaza, but a guest handed him a sword just before blue plasma erupted from his belly. Poor guy.

Amanda: Also the longer I stare at his two arms, the more it seems like they’re different lengths.

Promise and Protect by Lori Ryan. A shirtless man from the waist up. He is looking down and his hands disappear toward his pelvis. He appears to be fading away at around the bellybutton area, revealing a landscape behind him of dark clouds and a field.

From Amy: 1) I’m pretty sure he is peeing, 2) nothing about this cover says anything about this book, as far as I can tell.

Sarah: That guy is just looming over a field thinking deep thoughts while he takes a wee, and someone snaps his picture. Honestly. So rude.

Tara: Promising and protecting dat junk.

Amanda: I love how his junk just disappears into the field.

Playboy Billionaire's Fake Marriage by Judy Hale. A well-coiffed man wears a tight, shiny blazer in front of a cityscape. He has no shirt on beneath the jacket and his pecs are veiny and clearly stretching the limits of the material.

From Lisa: I know billionaires probably puff their chests out a lot, but… Alternatively, what happens when you attempt to inflate your blow-up Beach Billionaire to fill out his suit jacket, and your blow-up suddenly pulls a Galatea.

Sarah: …is this AI?

And if not AI, is he OK?

Elyse: This is like a SNL sketch where he’s a billionaire nepo baby CEO and he shows up to a meeting and his big idea is “no shirts”

Sarah: All Pecs On Decks.

Amanda: His expression and overall face business is giving me Handsome Squidward vibes.

 

Gift Wrapped Protector by C.D. Gorri. A well-oiled and shirtless man is wearing a Santa hat. He has a red sack over his shoulder and is wearing tight, red shorts. A small blue dragon is covering his crotch.

Wrapping up with more from PamG: You need a condom on that, Santy.

Elyse: I would love this so much more if a little kid was just putting dragon stickers on romance covers

Like pop a sticker right over the dude’s dingus area on all the books

Amanda: Pin the dragon on the cover model.

Sarah: That sack (the red one, not the dragon-obscured one) is about to absolutely wallop him on the back of the head, right?



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